Too Much Woman…

Am I the too much woman?
Too Much to Be Around.
Too Much to Be Taken In.
Too Much to Be Comforted.
Too Much to Hold Space for while My Emotional Tsunami rides too hard and too long down the shore line for Him.
Am I the Too Much Woman?

My Fire Burns Too Bright.
Too Hot.
Too High.
Too Wild to Be Controlled.
Do I Frighten Him?
My Unpredictable sways from side to side.
My Spirit undulating sigh to sigh.

Am I Too Much to take in Near?
Too much to Observe paralleled?

Does My Burn come off onto His Skin?
Leaving red trails that lead where it is thin?

Have I Become oh So Comfortable with My Wild Nature that I had
Kept Bottled in oh So Tight that I found it hard to breathe in the Light?

I No Longer Fear My Shadow and My Wild Dancing, legs splaying released from My binds of Making others Uncomfortable.

Unafraid to Rage in the Fight.
Undaunted to Speak what is Right
For I Warred with Myself Too Long
To Surrender to Another’s Alarm tonight.
I AM the TOO MUCH WOMAN.

Sometimes interesting things can Begin with just a little push…

I had lunch with my best girl today. I felt as if my life was on fire. She has regularly pulled Me from the searing dark depths of my self inflicted wallowing to impart a tad bit of calming clarity and rationale. This day was no different. After, empathizing, dispensing some tough love and a soothing balm for my soul, She asked if I had ever thought of doing a blog.

I admit it had crossed my mind a few times but I had never acted on it. Today, She said I should. She has done this before, many times. Suggested Action. She has a way of Doing It, with a particular look in her eyes that differentiates the suggestion as more of a Prompting Guidepost rather than an offhanded conversational side note. This Beauty has, from the beginning, been My Unconditional Cheerleader.

I have known her since my early twenties and in that time She has consistently “Seen Me” as I Am and All that I have the potential to be even while I am ricocheting through whatever latest Crisis of Self may be. She has been there. Today was no different.

So, I Am starting a blog. I invite you to clamber over the sides of my little boat and join Me as I set sail into this journey down the Rabbit Hole.

My only guarantee is, it will never be lacking in curiosities and moments of “huh.”

Humbly, Esmé

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